Woo, jus fell asleep for a white there.. Love it!  there is noting like a quick cat nap.

Men start wars and murder people over land, power, money, and religion.  In Japan and France women are more passive.. “oh so he cheated.. big deal”.    American women are not so liberal.  And why should should be walked all over.

I think more women should be in powerful places.. in government, businesses, in relationships.  Why bow down to these fools are aren’t any brighter, smarter, or worth more really.  They only make more because men exploit women.  Men stick together in packs.. against women.

You know mere human men wrote everything in that stupid bible and gave us woman a bill of goods.  It’s all bullshit.  Men created god. It’s obivious if you think about it.  God is made in the image and likeness of men and women and children come lower on the food chain.. mere objects of mistreatment and servitude.

But 2012 is fast approaching.. and the universe has had enough of greed, power struggles, wars for profit and crooked deals and cheating people.  It’s all bull.  Its an old men’s club.. .  and it’s about time for that to change. There’s Tiger, Jesse, Standford, Haggard, Craig and more.  Yeah it’s natural for men.. they can’t help it.. I heard that as a kid.  Males were encouraged to explore.  Men were priviledged.. I was abused.  I think it’s why I’m anti-male.  Why wouldn’t I be.  As a female I had few options.  As a female child my stomach turned when I realized what was in store for me.  I refused to be secondary.. some slave to some stupid man that wasn’t any smarater than I was.   Men were so built up by women and my mother.. and then when I realized that was all bullshit and they were actually egotistical, stupid, only used half their brain, could only single  task.. you can only imagine how disappointed I was.    Oh and to make it all so much more worse and painful.. I had to pretend that I was straight.  I’m tell’n you, men just did not do it for me… still don’t..  never well.  If anything I was jealous of them.. it just wasn’t fair.  Life was so tough!

I’ve had one beautiful brief love affair where I was blow away by her femininity.  Surely, that can’t be it?  I have to just not think about.. because I become very depressed.  I love atrractive feminine women.. it’s why I’m a lesbian.  If I would have wanted someone similar to man.. I would have married one of those men I was forced to socially date to make my mother happy.   Life sucks!   It’s so unfair… I’m feminine and love feminine women.. but it seems many feminine woman love butch.  Universe.. get me out of here… this can’t be happening to me. To survive I have to put my mind in neutral.  I’m so tired of pretending and dreaming that one day she’ll come into my life.. I did that as a kid.  I’m still doing it.  Will my dreams every come true?   I demand it.  Eddy and Georgette you fucking own me one.  Stop being selfish and deliver.

My next life.. I demand it.. will be very sexual, sensual and loving..

Tomorrow 3/23/2010 promises to be very lovely in the Midwest.  I’ll get up and do a few yoga stretches, eat a banana.. It’s what I ran on last week.  Not much – don’t need much at all.  Only need to remember my sunscreen will I do.  I have it in my car ready to go.. yes tomorrow will be a grand day.

I had an interesting day yesterday.  It was a raining Sunday.. chili and rainy so I stayed indoors by the blazing, crackling fireplace, reading, sipping coffee and listening to classical music (much like this everning). Anyway Facebook was fun.. seems everyone was in doors and updating Facebook… so it was like a big gathering of like minded people.. all stuggled up and cozy out of the rainy weather.  I know I corresponded with at least eight people.. what fun!  I love Facebook.

Another interesting thing!  I’ve discovered that I signed up to get Michael Moore daily blog updates in my email.  And he is very interesting to read.  He speaks clearly and to the point and explains the negatives.. about the new health care plan that the Republians have filed to repeal already.  I wish people were just good people and thoughtful about the greater good of the American people.. and end all this hatefulness and greed!  Don’t you agree?

Well anyway, back to my book:  ”Corporatism” by Jeffrey Grupp.  It’s a fascinating read and one I can’t put down… nor could I put down:  ”The Unseen Hand” and “The New World Order” both by A. Ralph Epperson… nor could I put down “The Shock Doctrine” by Naomi Klein.. and so many more.  Just love to read and stay informed.. even though I can’t make a changes.. it’s still good to know your enemies.

Best of luck to all…

Besides, I only fell in love with one where I felt a connection.  Yes I did.  I tried to connecct her four different times and she never opened her match mail from me.  And since I’m such a clever detective I even found her on facebook and asked her to be friends.. nano!  I’m thinking her friends put her up to opening these accounts and she felt pressured to please.  Or she got lucky and found someone.  It wouldn’t surprise me because she was very lovely.  I hope to god it was with a feminine woman.  I like fem and sad to say I think most feminine women like butch.

You know.. it’s why I’m a lesbian.. I love feminine “women”.. I love “women”. It’s why I never clicked or married any of those men I dated way back when.. and never had orgasms.. no wonder.. they didn’t do it for me.. neither does butch women.. no thanks.. but a feminine woman.. OMG!  I thought I died and went to heaven!

There is a god I guess.. at least I didn’t have to go to my grave.. wondering!  Lord help me.. so many times I think I don’t belong here.. on this planet.. I’m talking about!  I just don’t fit.

But who knows.. maybe tomorrow a miracle will happen and some wonderful woman will fall from the sky into my lap. I haven’t given up on Eddy and Georgette yet.. they know who they are.. and they still owe me one!  And I expect them to come forth with a beautiful lovely woman.. I”m ready now.  I’ve cleared up all my negative energy.. ego is deflated.  I only know what I need… I hope she is close by and at least meets me half way.

It’s time to read now.. get sleepy and get up and run 12 miles tomorrow.. think I’ll eat something.

It’s an art.. I do the same when drawing too.. it’s timing in action.  I like predictability..something to count on.  Knowing.

I’m stable that way..ever strong, never bending…steady.

I praise and thank the universe for my youthfulness, pain free actiities, safeness, safe life.  I’m protected from harm, injury, accident and illness.  I am love.. I am loved and I love.  Put it out there.. get it back.. ten fold.

Be grateful and expect wonderful things then look for them to happen and they will.  Expect the best!  Expect magical moments.. why not?  You can create them yourself.  Our thoughts are very powerful, can be magical.. if filled with graditude.

Hear an old song.. that takes you back thirty years.. and you feel the same way you felt then.   Something you want ceases the physical pain of not having what you want.  There you have it!   Expecting the worse.. gets you the worse… so don’t expect it.  Expect the best!  Expect and demand good things to happen to you.. things you really truly need.. give it great thought and be specific.  Decide and realize then wish and ask and if neessary – demand.

Being without is safe.. but are you happy enough.  Could you be happier with a truly “there” loving companion.. soul mate.  For every pot, there’s a lid!  Is that true?

Oddly enough for years I never thought my opinion or thoughts mattered.. they do now.. when I don’t care if they do.  I’m just as good, if not better than many.  I have rhythm.  How many people do you know with rhythm… who can carry a tone?  Who is not directionally challenged?  How many “brilliant people can’t find their way out of a paper bag?  I can!  I have rhythm.  And  Common Sense.

How many people do you know who do not have common sense?  I do!  And I have rhythm.  And the beat goes on…..

In fact, I have my sights on a love match.  I am dating.    They come they go!   But this new woman I recently am in contact with I think will be fun and loving.  She’s happy and well established and settled in mind and spirit.   And I’m excited.  Her first name begins with a J..just to keep things plain (can’t say “stright”.. I’m not).

I love being gay!  I love being who I am.  Damn the church!  Religion is the biggest hater of all.  Religion teaches us to “hate” one another and “fight”.  Religion like government is all about take-overs and “wars” and “hate”.  And power and control and manipulation.  To believe anything else is silly!

I’ll sleep on that now.  Tomorrow I’ll work on my book of colorful characters and mystery, romance, and thievery.

And my thought about government policies and practices – as if you asked?  I think we are getting a song and dance and the people in government think we are stupid enough to believe it.. but we aren’t.   We all know that Democrats and Republican work in unison to aid and abed greedy CEO heads of large corporations who are secretly running the show.  Presidents are puppets for the corporate world.   And how about the Supreme Court allowing corporations the same rights and individuals when it come to campaign advertising and buying air time.  No one can compete with large corporations; certainly not your average citizen.  So, might as well consider this country a single party political country.  We the tax payer according to the constitution are supposed to have government representation but we all know that a crock.  We the people have no representation in Washington.. for this government works for large corporations.  It’s a super capitalist industrized country.. the only one in the world where health care is “for profit”!  Why can’t we, the tax payer, have the same coverage as Congress and the Senate?   After all, we pay for theirs.

And that’s all I’m saying about that!  Oh one more thing.  I believe our government via the media uses a “good guy, bad buy” car salesman tactic on us when delivering the so-called “news”.   It’s all manipulated and controlled… and full of right wing propaganda.

The focus has shifted to jobs – it’s certainly about time.

She has other books out too:  “Earth” written in 1995 and “Family of light” in 1999.  I am learning so much and I feel so much more in control of my life.  And I AM in control of my life.

Our thoughts become our realities.   It’s like going into a restaurant and looking over the menu, making your decision and then telling the waiter what you want. Try it.  But be specific and key is not to worry about it.. after you order it.  Have faith.  Besides if it doesn’t come back exactly how you thought it should be.. then request adjustments.  But believe.  It’s as simple as that!

You can do, be and look as you wish.  I’m putting these books titles out here and telling you about them.. because I feel that I was drawn to them and should try to help others learn about these books and the priceless messages they convey.   

I always ask for magical moments.. and at the end of the day when I reflex back I can find them.. Thanks universe for all of my many blessings, gifts and safety.. and for my friends too should they forget to thank the universe themselves.  Please keep us all safe, healthy, accident free and free of pain.  Please protect and keep from any incidence.. myself, friends and my material possessions.  Thanks.  I especially thank my special spiritual guides:  Emma, Ezekiel, Edy and Georgette.  Thanks for all you do!

Now I must get back to ready.. these wonderful books.

Can’t afford to redecorate.. and don’t really know if I want to.  I’ve seen some work done lately that was pretty messing and sloppy.. so might as well stay status quo.. you know?  I’ll just invite guests over after dark.

Drive an old eleven year old car haven’t bought furniture since 1992.  But hey it’s the bad economy.  The already rich want all the money they can gather into their very own pockets.. so they ship jobs overseas, pay dismal wages, offer no benefits, every insurance company readily agrees to take your money but there are no safety standards, no government restrictions, no oversight, no regulations to keep big business from cheating the ordinary consumer.  Nice job government.. I believe you have sold us out.  The rich and the politicans are so high above it all it’s nothing but a game to them.   They are laughing at us poor saps all the way to the foreign bank.. you don’t they would trust ours do you?  They have already broke the banks in this country.  Take the money and run..buy a yacht or two but whatever you do don’t do anything humane that might help your fellow man.. yet these politicans and rich folks claim to be Christians.

Well, we all know now Chrisitianity became the number one religion globaly don’t we.. they literally shoved it down people’s throat .. convert or die..”The Crusades”.  Yeah nice religion.  Our way or the highway.. the death way.  Disgusting isn’t it.. sad thing is .. people are so foolish.  How do you think Hitler came into power.. he literally starved people into submission.. they were only to happy to get a crumb to eat.   Sometimes the human race sickens me.  The ugly but powerful rule and stomp all over the good people.. shouldn’t it be the other way around.. should we place demands on that 1% elite?  What are they going to do .. kill us all?  Sicken us all?  Oh, the people are out of hand.. crush them.   Extreme ImperalistCapitalism is what we have.  We have no voice.   Gee social security is running out.. oh we just can’t borrow from China?  Bull shit!  Obama is no different then the rest of them.. HEY may we just remind you.. you just paid billions to the crooks on Wall Street.. who wrecked their own businesses .. you are all in cahoots.  

I firmly believe Republicans and Democratic threatrics is what we are witnessing.. Obama is no different.  He is warning us already.. the banks didn’t get any warning.. they got billions.  We got phished.. scammed.. shammed.. takened.

They want to keep us right where they have us.. stupid and poor that is how they control us.  Make them want!  Get them poor enough and they’ll join the military.  National Guard .. how about International Guard?  Think that was a trick?  Join the National Guard to stay close to home and protect our national at home.. in time of terrorism and disaster.  We must struggle to help each other.. while they over look us altogether… except to take our taxes.   There is something terribly wrong about the elitist .. oh but there Christian at election time.. anti-abortion and anti-gay.. hypocrites is more like it!